This is a perfect example of the “lived messiness” of feminism.
I fucking loved this movie when I was a little girl. Adored it. It’s what began my epic life long crush on Ms. Roberts. I was 9 years old when I first saw it, which shocks me now, I still remember getting blushy during the sex scenes.
But when I watch it now I can’t help but be offended that this is what we were being offered. This was our fairy tale? It’s so sexist and antiquated it’s painful.
It’s bullshit. Nobody has to save us, we have to do it ourselves or we’re never really saved, we’re just co-dependent.
And how much time and energy have I wasted trying to be nice enough, trying to love someone enough, that they never let me go? Wanting to be wanted isn’t much of an aspiration. And sometimes it just doesn’t matter how nice you are… what a hard lesson to learn.
I hate that the narrative pushes so many of my well-socialized buttons, because part of me loves it so much, and wants it so badly. It was the message that girls like me internalized; have a big heart, so big it swallows you, because it’s your job to love people, even if they don’t deserve it, even if they don’t deserve you. Even if they don’t respect you.
How do you un-do this learning?
It’s really hard work.
Her laugh is something though, isn’t it?
